Psychology the easy way

Hi.

My name is Leo Krans. I live in the Netherlands and written a book about psychology in Dutch. Because translating is very expensive or time consuming if I do it myself, some of my thoughts (more to follow). Maybe one day my book will be translated to English.

Because my psychological knowledge has developed a bit different as usual, my view on how things are happening in the upper room, is also different. I didn't study for psychologist, so my basics are different from a "real" psychologist. And you know what, I am glad I never went to school for this. If I would have done this, I would have had many theories in my head and thought like everybody else. And never been open to different approaches. But the most important thing, it has worked for me. I have changed. I have no personal problems anymore. I have become a happy human being.

Although there are so many psychologist and people studying for this, there is nothing new under the horizon. They are all saying the same with different words. Hundred of thousands have studied for psychology, without any breakthrough. There are no new books with something new. There are no great psychologist with a better view. One of the reasons for that is, they all have studied the same basics and build from there. I know there are psychologist who are saying what is right and wrong of human behavior and they are doing good things, but it is no improvement of psychology. Psychology is about figuring out what goes on in human minds and why people are doing certain things.

My approach is different. I have read psychology books, but only as a learning tool. My main thought has always been "why". "Why is someone doing X." Not "what is wrong about doing X and how should it be." If you understand the why, you have the first step to a solution. Not the final step, but the first one. If you know why someone is insecure, you have the chance of improvement. Support from others, alcohol, winning prizes, does hardly do any good to someone's self believe. Many Miss Worlds are still insecure about their looks.

So I wasn't looking for what to do about insecurity, but why is someone insecure (like me). If you understand that, there is a way upwards. There are no tricks for getting rid of insecurity. You can cover it up, pretend you are not insecure or whatever, but the insecure foundation will still be there. It is a bit like building on a swamp. You have to keep on building, otherwise you will still sink. Nobody is born insecure. Somewhere in the growing up process something went wrong.

Because I have this very strong "why" drive and some basic psychology knowledge, some small breakthroughs came to my mind. I know good new thoughts are rare, so writing them down immediately is essential. After a while I had many of these small notes and reorganizing them in a computer caused many more thoughts. It would be enough for a small book I thought.

Then it started to look like a puzzle. All pieces were falling in place. Eventually it became a huge book with many unique thoughts. At first I never had the intention of writing a book, but it became so good, I had to publish it. But the most important thing is, I have changed completely. I am now such a happy person, you probably won't believe it.

A few of my thoughts:

• Forget Freud. He was important because he was the founder of psychology, but he didn't say anything useful. His "vision" on human behavior was build on his experiences in mental hospitals. He studied the derailed persons and he thought this was the way to understand the human mind. Would be the same as studying the worst athlete. If you believe what he is saying, you are going in the wrong direction. That is a danger with theories from "expert". Because people thinks he is an expert, they start believing him because he seems to be an expert. The problem is, because nobody really understands the human mind, one starts to believe the ones who are sounding good or have a reputation. You have to believe something. But only if you do understand things, you can say what is right and what is wrong. I had an open mind to Freud because I didn't know what to think of him. Now I know you cannot learn anything from him. Same as bad mechanics: stay away from them.
• There are some fair historic psychologist, but far out the best is Maslow. He knew what he was talking about. Maslow looked for the healthy minded people (about two percent of the people). Studied their way of thinking and started to look for "why are others not thinking like these two percent." That is a better base as using sick minded people. You can't learn from the ones who fail. Only from the best. It is not "Why did he fail", but "Why is he successful", if you want to learn.
• If you study several psychologist, you get confused, because they all have there own view. Some say for instance, problem children are caused by their genes. Other say it is not in their genes. And other say it is a mixture of genes and environment. Yeah, that helps. I can assure you, there is nothing in genes that causes problem children. It is hundred percent environment. Your nose is genes, but not you behavior. The more psychologist you study, the more confused you get. You can study several car mechanics books, because there is no view on how a car works. How a car works, is based on well known facts.
• Psychology should not be build on theories, but on facts. Psychology can be very easy if you know what you are talking about. If you don't understand, you need complicated theories to cover up this lack of expertise. The problem with understanding psychology is, there are many things involved. Most problems are a combination of several problems. If you don't see the problems, you start guessing about it and that is how theories are started.
• Enlightenment is the same as inner peace (And the same as the top of the pyramid from Maslow). Meditation is not the way to get to that level. Meditation can work temporary or a bit, but most of the time it doesn't help. Getting to the level of enlightenment, means you are in balance. It is not something mysterious, unnatural or only for the oriental people. It is a natural mental state which most people have lost. Yes lost, because once you had it. As a child you were in balance. But while you grew up, you got out of balance.
• You think thinking nonstop is normal.Well, it is not. It is a sign of stress. Without any effort you should be able to stop your thoughts. But you probably can't, because you have too many problems. Solve your problems and you will get peace of mind in your upper room. Then you will feel really relaxed and good about yourself. The Eastern people call this enlightenment. Again, nothing mysterious or unnatural about this. Solving your problems is the problem.
• From nature, every human being is a good decent person, but during the growth to maturity a lot of things go wrong. Going back to that decent person who is happy with him/her self is always possible, but the farther you are away from that state, the harder it will be. If you are very insecure about yourself, you can recover from this, but it won't be easy. If you are a dominant ego, you can become a normal human being again, but this is close to impossible, because giving in or wanting to change is not one of the options of an ego. With an ego I mean: "I am always right." "I'll never admit if I am wrong." "Everybody has to obey me and do not disagree with me because I don't accept that." Behind this ego hides fear (of leaving this thinking).
• If a friend talks behind your back you don't trust your friend anymore. Your relationship changes because of this. If two more friends are doing the same, you will start to distrust other people. That is psychology. It is a normal human response. No hard to understand theories needed for that. That is why psychology can be easy if you understand the human processes. If you don't, you need complicated theories with complicated words.

Keeping faith in yourself is what it is all about. If you loose that, problems are going to put you in a downwards spiral. If you are down, it will be very hard to go upwards again. But it is possible. I have done it because by accident I found answers and solutions.